


water

by souldews



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Depression, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-29
Updated: 2014-10-29
Packaged: 2018-02-23 01:42:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2529380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/souldews/pseuds/souldews
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p></p><blockquote>
  <p>some days, tobio feels like he is underwater.</p>
  <p>he feels like everyone is; the difference is, they’re all swimming just fine, while he treads water with every step he takes and he’s slowly, slowly, sinking underwater.</p>
</blockquote>
            </blockquote>





	water

some days, it takes a lot for him to get up in the mornings.

some days he feels like it's downright impossible, even; as if his limbs were bound in ball-and-chain and they weigh heavier than lead, as if his heart has turned to stone and sunk, sunk,  _sunk._

there is a void that simply sucks out all the life in him, and with it, his willpower to even move.

regardless, his mother knocks on the door, and the sound is barely stronger than his invisible restrictions, so he gets up, stares at the clock, and gets dressed, movements robotic,

programmed,

lifeless.

\---

those days are never really good days for tobio.

he is testier, his temper shorter, and he feels like he constantly walks on a tightrope that's stretched thin like his patience, fearing that the slightest thing may tip his balance into the abyss of gaping darkness below him and make him lose it.

he stares at a math problem that makes absolutely no sense to him; what the  _fuck_  are these alphabets doing with the numbers? classic literature isn't any better.

[  _Why did the author mention that the sky is blue_? ]

how the hell is he supposed to know when it looks-- like everything else-- pretty darn grey to him?

\---

break rolls around, but there is no break for him and the void only continues to sap all the energy in him like a parasitic entity. he places food into his mouth but finds that he can't really taste it; he puts down his chopsticks after eating about a quarter of his meal.

hinata comes bouncing into his class, like always.

hinata, he thinks, is the embodiment of the sun; associated with cheer, energy, and a brightness that is blinding.

it doesn't chase away the void inside him, or the suffocating gray that's closing around his throat, or the clouds hanging overhead, threatening to rain on him.

regardless, he nods absently at whatever the middle blocker is saying.

\---

the clouds do decide to rain on him on practice.

he manages to miss a good portion of his jump serves, he snaps at hinata for not getting the spikes right, nearly gets into a fist-fight with yamaguchi, and coach takes him aside for a moment; tells him that he's a fine player, but he's going to have to sort out "whatever it is he has to sort out". 

from the corner of his eyes he sees suga looking at him with clear pity in his eyes and hinata with a look he can't quite decipher, and he turns his head away.

the stares bore a hole in his head.

he hates it.

~~(he hates himself.)~~

\---

some days, tobio feels like he is underwater.

he feels like everyone is; the difference is, they're all swimming just fine, while he treads water with every step he takes and he's slowly, slowly, sinking underwater.

the void inside him continues to suck all the life out of him. he thinks the void must exist through sheer willpower (that it probably got from him), because he feels like he's utterly drained and dry and yet it remains.

he's suffocating, he can't breathe, and he feels bad for yelling at everyone today

~~(for returning to the tyrant that he was, for being the person he promised he would never become)~~

and all he really wants is to sleep and for it to go away.

he goes through the door, tells himself all he needs to do is eat dinner, say he's tired, and sleep.

\---

some days, tobio feels like he's drowning.

but he shuts his eyes

goes to sleep

and the next morning,

the clouds clear, the ball-and-chain falls apart and disintegrates

he is floating again and the gray dissipates

and he is

fine.

**Author's Note:**

> haha this was vent fic why am i always prouder of my vent stuff


End file.
